Setting Households in Order
Setting the household in order involves a man having his wife in submission and his children obedient. If the wife does not honor his God given authority as the head of the household then the wife can actually cancel out the good discipline that the father provides for his children. Both wife submission and children obedience are foundational for a household that is set in order according to the divine order of God with the man placed by God as the head of the household.
Child Training and Wife Submission
The topic of child training crucial to all society because nations are made of families and if a man does not mentor and train his children, they will grow up to be dysfunctional and a burden to society. Prisons are filled with people who were raised in dysfunctional homes where there was no godly man to take leadership in mentoring and training the children which he has fathered.
Proverbs 29:15 (NKJV)
15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
The topic of child training also relates to a man being the head of his own household. The scripture above says that if a child is left to himself (meaning to grow up wild and undisciplined) then it brings shame to the child’s mother. The reason this is shameful to the mother is that women will typically shield the child from the discipline of the father. Whenever a child is disciplined by the father for bad behavior and then the mother comforts that child then it will cancel out the good effects of the discipline. Comforting a disciplined child (before that discipline has had the good effect of correcting bad behavior) results in canceling out that discipline.
See the link “Child Discipline” for more details.
A wife is required by God to submit to the authority of her husband in the home and this includes submitting to the program implemented by the father in disciplining his children for bad behavior. There must be unity with the parents in child discipline or else the woman (following her feelings of feminine sympathy and pity) will comfort a wayward child and thus cancel out the good effects of the father’s discipline upon that child. Instead, the mother should confirm her husband’s leadership by also applying discipline to the same child so that both parents show agreement with that discipline. The child must see that both his father and mother are in complete agreement with his discipline or else that discipline will be rendered worthless and of no effect on changing the bad behavior of that child.
It is typically the mother who will comfort a wayward child who has been disciplined by the father and so such a woman is not submitting to her husband and allowing him to be head of the household. She is going against his program for child discipline and therefore when this undisciplined child becomes a monster to society it will be to the shame of his mother. Such a mother is the one who shielded and protected that wayward child from the discipline that was needed to correct his bad behavior while he was still young. Such wayward children will grow up to be a menace to society and most often will end up in a penitentiary (to be disciplined by the government) because this job was not done by the parents when the child was growing up.
Any type of insubordination of the mother contradicting the good discipline given by the father will have the bad effects or “Bad-Fruit-Of” their child becoming a monster and menace to all society! If the man has his household in order, then his wife will join him in full agreement when he administers discipline to wayward children. This will bring peace and order to that household. If a child can manipulate the mother against the father then that household will be full of turmoil as the rebellious and disobedient child rules and manipulates his parents by pitting them one against another.
God has placed ordained authority in the household by placing the man as the head of that household and requiring his wife submit to her husband as the head of the home and requiring that children be obedient to their parents. Whenever this ordained authority is despised or rejected then there will be turmoil in that household.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (NASB)
18 “If any man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father or his mother, and when they chastise him, he will not even listen to them,
19 then his father and mother shall seize him, and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gateway of his hometown.
20 “They shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey us, he is a glutton and a drunkard.’
21 “Then all the men of his city shall stone him to death; so you shall remove the evil from your midst, and all Israel will hear of it and fear.
Under the Old Testament era if the parents had a rebellious son who will not obey his father and mother when they have chastised him then he was to be destroyed. The death penalty for this rebellion shows the seriousness of this crime in the sight of God. A child who can no longer be corrected is useless to all society. The execution of a rebellious and self-indulgent boy was to become a testimony to everyone that such rebellion against parental authority will not be tolerated.
Parental Authority
Parental authority is the foundation of all society because society is made of families and parents are to be in authority over their children within the household.
1 Corinthians 11:3 (NIV2011)
3 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
God has ordained a divine chain-of-command with God the Father as the head of Christ and Christ the head of the man and the man as the head of the wife and the parents as head over their children.
Colossians 3:20 (NIV2011)
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Children are required by God to obey their parents in everything because this is pleasing to the Lord.
There exists a divine chain-of-command in God’s kingdom and it is expected that people honor and show respect to every level of that authority within that chain-of-command. Children are to obey parents and wives are to submit to their own husbands and husbands are to submit to Christ and Christ to God so that from top to bottom there is submission to established authority.
Therefore, a wife who comforts a disciplined child is in direct rebellion to her own husband who provided the needed child discipline. She is cancelling out the good effects of that discipline needed to correct bad behavior in a wayward child.
Ephesians 5:24 (NIV2011)
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
The wife must submit to her husband in everything including the program her husband implemented in correcting the bad behavior of wayward children using discipline. There should be complete agreement between the husband and wife about their program to provide the needed discipline for the children. The wife is to submit to her husband in this area of child discipline just as she is required to submit to her husband’s ordained authority in all areas of household management. If the man is the head of the household then the wife will submit to him and come into agreement with him and have unity in all areas including child discipline.
God’s Plan For Order by Male Leadership
Genesis 18:19 (NASB)
19 “For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, so that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.”
The reason that God chose Abraham was that Abraham could be trusted to command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord. Abraham was the leader of his own household and he commanded his children and the members of his household to keep the way of the Lord. The word “Command” is a strong word that has the exact opposite meaning of someone who gives a suggestion in weak and beggarly manner! Abraham did not give suggestions but he commanded the members of his own household to comply with God’s ways! This is what being a godly leader is all about, to take leadership and do what is right in the sight of God and enforce God’s ways within their own households.
Joshua 24:15 (NIV2011)
15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”
Joshua had the same spirit of leadership as his forefather Abraham also possessed. Joshua did not ask his family members their opinion if they wanted to serve God or not. Joshua commanded his household in masculine manner and he said, “As for me and my household, we shall serve the Lord!” Joshua knew that God had placed him in authority over his own household and as long as he was alive those living under his authority would obey what Joshua commanded. Joshua was a godly man who feared God and kept God’s commands and so enforced God’s ways within his own household! No doubt anyone who tried to break God’s commands would be put to death because Joshua was not a passive leader who made weak suggestions. He was a commander who gave commands to his household and they had no other option but to obey!
This is the type of strong masculine leadership God requires of godly men to be heads of their own households and to lead with the righteousness of God in mind. This strong godly leadership (as seen in the lives of Abraham and his descendants like Joshua) is all part of the principle of seed-time and harvest! It is the principle of seed-time and harvest that has kept the earth populated with plant and animal life since the time of Adam!
Genesis 1:11 (NASB)
11 Then God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees on the earth bearing fruit after their kind with seed in them”; and it was so.
When God created the first plants and animal life on earth, he created them to have seed within themselves. This enabled the plant and animal life to reproduce on the earth! Every plant and animal on earth today is a direct descendant of the original plants and animals God created in the beginning.
Genesis 1:20-22 (NIV2011)
20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.”
21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.
22 God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.”
The whole earth was filled with plant and animal life and sea creatures and birds of the air by the principle of seed-time and harvest of each species having the ability to reproduce after its own kind to fill the whole earth with their own species.
Genesis 1:27-28 (NASB)
27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”
God also give humans the ability to procreate using male and female to create offspring. God command humans to be fruitful and multiply and to fill the whole earth with human population and to subdue the earth and rule over it.
Thus, if a man like Abraham would command his children after him in the ways of God then they would also command their children after them then the ways of God would pass onto all succeeding generations. In theory, the knowledge of God has the potential to spread over the entire earth (as long as there are godly men like Abraham and Joshua who know how to rule over their own households and command their families to keep the ways of the Lord). As long as this godly male leadership is not interrupted then it can pass the knowledge of God to all generations on earth.
Genesis 9:1 (NASB)
1 And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.
God was not interested in just having humans multiply for no reason and to fill the earth with godless people. In the time of Noah, God destroyed the entire human population (except Noah and his sons). God saved only eight people out of the entire population of earth because the godless people had become worthless to God and the earth was filled with violence! Every wicked man was self-serving and they killed anyone just to take whatever they wanted. These people were undisciplined and wayward and had no godly leadership and were raised in households where men were not being godly leaders. The children of households where there is no godly leadership will become wicked and evil so that every generation after them will become exceedingly more wicked until God regretted that he made mankind on the earth.
Genesis 6:5-7 (NIV2011)
5 The LORD saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.
6 The LORD regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled.
7 So the LORD said, “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created—and with them the animals, the birds and the creatures that move along the ground—for I regret that I have made them.”
God was grieved that he had made humans who become so vile and wicked and filled the earth with violence and evil so that God destroyed them all (except for the household of Noah and his sons).
Genesis 6:8-13 (NIV2011)
8 But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD.
9 This is the account of Noah and his family. Noah was a righteous man, blameless among the people of his time, and he walked faithfully with God.
10 Noah had three sons: Shem, Ham and Japheth.
11 Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight and was full of violence.
12 God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways.
13 So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth.
It is evident that filling the earth with godless and wicked people was not the plan of God. God started over again with Noah and his sons because Noah was righteous in God’s sight and walked with God and pleased God.
Genesis 8:15-22 (NIV2011)
15 Then God said to Noah,
16 “Come out of the ark, you and your wife and your sons and their wives.
17 Bring out every kind of living creature that is with you—the birds, the animals, and all the creatures that move along the ground—so they can multiply on the earth and be fruitful and increase in number on it.”
18 So Noah came out, together with his sons and his wife and his sons’ wives.
19 All the animals and all the creatures that move along the ground and all the birds—everything that moves on land—came out of the ark, one kind after another.
20 Then Noah built an altar to the LORD and, taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it.
21 The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.
22 “As long as the earth endures, seed-time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.”
When Noah came out of the ark with his household God again reinstituted the principle of seed-time and harvest and everything producing after its own kind. God started again with the righteous seed of Noah and it was God’s intention that this man and his household would produce godly offspring on the earth with each man being the head of his own household and commanding his children after him to keep the ways of the Lord. Thus, there was the potential that the whole earth could be filled with godly offspring from godly households lead by godly men who exercised authority over their own households.
So, the principle of seed-time and harvest applies to godly offspring as well. This principle says that “Like-Will-Beget-Like” (meaning that a godly man can reproduce godly offspring by mentoring his own children in the ways of the Lord). As long as a godly man knows how to exercise authority in his own household, he will be able to enforce godly ways upon his own children who will carry this godly character to the next generations when they also do the same for their own households. In this manner, a godly household can multiply and fill the earth and carry the knowledge of God to all following generations of humans on the earth.
If every man is a godly leader (like Abraham and Joshua were) then the earth can be filled with their godly offspring as they take leadership as godly men and set their own households in order according to the divine order of God!
Habakkuk 2:14 (KJV)
14 For the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.
Most of the surface of the earth is covered by oceans and seas! In the same way that the waters cover the earth as seas, so the knowledge of the glory of the Lord can cover the whole earth when all families are led by godly leaders who know how to command their households and their grandchildren that come after them. This means that their sons should be mentored how to be godly leaders so that they will bring the same knowledge to their children and have this knowledge pass onto their grandchildren after them.
By the principle of seed-time and harvest (and strong manly leadership over households) the knowledge of God can cover the earth and be passed onto all succeeding generations. This is God’s plan and goal for all godly men to become leaders over their own households and to command their children and grandchildren after them.
Titus 2:9 (CJB)-M
9 Tell [employees] to submit to their [employers] in everything, to give their boss satisfaction by doing an excellent job without resisting his will.
Respect for God’s ordained authority starts in the home as women learn to honor their husbands as God’s ordained authority over them and children learn to honor their parents as God’s ordained authority over them. This carries on when children are raised to honor ordained authority. They also learn to honor the authority of teachers in school and they learn to honor authority of employers at work. When there is honor of authority from top to bottom then there is peace and order within all society.
Romans 13:1-5 (NKJV)
1 Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.
2 Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.
3 For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same.
4 For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil.
5 Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake.
God has also placed civil authorities over society to bring peace and order within these societies. There is no authority except that which was been established by God. Those who resist authority are therefore opposing the ordinance of God and will receive judgment from God. It is this ordained authority that brings order and peace to all civilizations on earth. This ordained authority starts in the homes with godly men (as leaders of households) and it extends to teachers and employers and police and governors and mayors and all those serving in places of authority within all society.
Whenever leaders become wicked and lead others to do the same then society will become reprobate and violent and wicked just as it was in the days of Noah when God destroyed the entire human population (except Noah and his household). Therefore, godly leaders are of vital importance to God’s plan on earth because God has placed men as authorities over their own households. If everyone within every household has a godly leader over them who enforced God’s ways (like Abraham and Joshua did) then the knowledge of God would spread over the entire earth!
Nations are made of societies and societies are made of families so having godly men over every family has the potential to bring the knowledge of God to entire nations and cover the whole earth with the knowledge of God. It all starts with men taking leadership in the home and setting their households in order according to the divine order of God with their wives in submission and their children in obedience.
High Standard of Order for Households of Believers
This is the purpose of the church to teach men to be godly leaders to put their own households in order with their wives in submission and their children obedient. If every household did this, they would spread the knowledge of the Lord over the whole earth!
The requirements to serve as a deacon in the church is for a man to have his household in order with his wife in submission and his children in obedience.
1 Timothy 3:12-13 (NASB)
12 Deacons must be husbands of only one wife, and good managers of their children and their own households.
13 For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a high standing and great confidence in the faith that is in Christ Jesus.
The office of the deacon is created to do natural service in the church so that those of the Fivefold ministry can give themselves completely to prayer and ministry of God’s word without natural distractions. But it is interesting that the bible gives the requirements for being a deacon by emphasizing that the deacon must have his household in order.
The deacon must be a good manager of his own household with his children obedient and his wife in submission. This means that if a man does not have his household in order (with his wife in submission and his children obedient) then he is disqualified from all natural service (even sweeping the church floor) as a deacon in the church.
1 Timothy 3:2-5 (NKJV)
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach;
3 not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous;
4 one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence
5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?);
The same requirement for the deacons is also applied to the bishop or elder or overseer or pastor which are all synonymous words just like car and automobile and vehicle are all words that are synonymous. In fact, the requirements of deacon and pastor equally apply to all those in leadership in the church who serve in the Fivefold Ministry of Apostle, Prophet, Teacher, Pastor or Evangelist. If any man does not know how to manage his own household then how can he manage the house of God? If a man cannot be a leader at home and put his own house in order then he is in fact disqualified from any type of leadership position in the church and does not even qualify to do natural service as a deacon!
1 Timothy 3:6 (NKJV)
6 not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil.
A novice is an immature person who is just like a baby wearing diapers and using a baby bottle! It would be perverse to have a two-year-old baby (still wearing diapers and still using a baby-bottle) to stand in a position of leadership over adults to issue orders to them! In the same way, it is also perverse for a man to serve in a position of leadership within the church whose own household is out of order! If a man does not know how to take authority over his wife and to have his children in obedience then he is like a baby wearing diapers and who is still using a baby-bottle! How can he provide leadership for others when his own personal life is in disorder? A baby has to be carried around and have his diapers changed and be fed with a baby-bottle and is in no position to help others when he is being served like a baby himself!
A sign of maturity is that a man has his own personal life and household in order and is therefore qualified to help others being a mature man himself!
It is for this reason that every position of leadership within the church (including natural service as a deacon) requires that men have their households in order with their wives in submission and their children in obedience. If the wife refuses to submit to her own husband (and cancels out his program of child discipline) then her children will bring shame to her when they go reprobate and end up in prison for crimes against society!
God’s Will Is Order for All Households of the Church
It is God’s will that every household within the church come into divine order. This is the reason that God requires all leadership positions in the church to be filled by men who have their own households in order with wives in submission and children in obedience. If they do not know how to rule their own households then they have no business in ruling the house of God. These men in leadership in the church are to serve as examples of having orderly households and submissive wives and obedient children. The leaders are to be examples to the entire congregation because every family in the church is to come into the divine order of God. Every man in the church is to mature to the place of having his own household in order with an submissive wife and obedient children. If every household in the church was in order then that would bring divine order to all society because the church would be like a light shining in darkness. Unbelievers would inquire of believers how to be saved because they would want the same divine order and peace in their own lives (which are filled with turmoil and disorder as unbelievers). Divine order is like salt that causes the unbelievers to thirst for righteousness so that they want to be saved!
But the witness of believers is cancelled out if the wife is not submitting to her ordained authority in the home and is cancelling out the good effects of discipline of the man of the house and is creating wayward children who are growing up rebellious and dysfunctional and full of vices and sin.
Male Authority in the Household Ordained By God
The whole point here is that God has established authority within the household and within the society and within the nation and people are required to honor God’s ordained authority. This authority includes the authority of a man over his own household with his wife being in submission to him as the head of the home and his children obedient to their parents. If every godly man learns how to become the leader of his own household and learns how to set his household in order according to the divine order of God, then this will bring the knowledge of God to the whole earth! This divine order in the home will cause the ways of the Lord to be carried to the following generations through the godly influence of his children and grandchildren after him. See the link “Divine Order for Women” for more details on how a man is to put his wife and household in order according the Divine Order of God!